Why marriages need expiration dates

[nvtellan]

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Why marriages need expiration dates
CARMELA G. LAPEÑA, GMANews.TV
01/08/2010 | 10:56 PM


In a predominantly Catholic country where divorce is not an option and annulments are harder to get than an emergency root canal at midnight, marriage is serious business. So serious that even husbands and wives who clearly shouldn’t be together are told to grin and bear it for the sake of their children, their neighbors, and even their pets. It’s 2010, but when it comes to matters of the heart, most Pinoys still seem to be stuck in the 1950s.

Love actually

Then again, most couples just stay together on paper because it costs too much to break up legally. Love (or the lack thereof) ceases to become a factor. It’s more like the dread of red tape and the lack of funds that helps them stick to their “till death do us part" vow—even if they want to kill each other.

Still, the proposal of the women’s party list group 1-Ako Babaeng Astig Aasenso (1-ABAA) to place expiration dates on marriage contracts raised a ruckus. The controversial proposition was brought to light at the Daungan ng Balita news forum held at the Danarra Hotel in Quezon City last Thursday, January 7, 2009.

The group’s main advocacy is “to help women become economically empowered by helping them become entrepreneurs giving them better employment, providing sources of livelihood, access to capital, and other ways to make women financially independent." However, among the issues they discussed at the forum, it was the subject of the marriage contract expiration that grabbed the most attention.

In particular, 1-ABAA, which represents separated and abandoned women, proposed the enactment of a law that would mandate a 10-year limit on the validity of a marriage contract. Its purpose is “to spare incompatible couples the expense of lengthy legal proceedings before their marriages are annulled."

Rules of engagement

When you think about it, what the group wants isn’t really that outrageous.

After all, the marriage license, which the couple obtains before they can get married, has a “built-in" expiration date. Article 20 of the Family Code of the Philippines stipulates that a marriage license is only valid “for a period of one hundred twenty days from the date of issue" and is deemed automatically canceled if the contracting parties have not made use of it by the end of the mandated period.

Read more  HERE

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So what is your take on this?

[Jasmine]

This strikes me a lot ........ and a darn good idea! lol   

But I have two reaction on this:

In my case,

Technically, I think this would be advantageous, I presume, particularly those who got married in their untimely ages, along with those who really not meant to be, and just discover when they got married. There’s a lot of cases of unwanted marriages and marriages by fault.. in any case we can save them.

Well in the eyes of God, the ones that God bound together, should not be separated from the other.
As soon as you marry someone it means forever. When you take your vows, you promise to love and cherish that person FOREVER. No one ever said a marriage was simple. It takes work.

[moonchild117]

may point naman e, pero marriage isn't a business. it's a commitment. dapat siguro yung mga tao bigyan muna ng orientation tungkol sa pag-aasawa bago talaga magpakasal. hehe!

ako, kung sakali man, magiging hassle lang yung renewal of contract. mahal na nga yung ginastos namin sa kasal tapos kelangan pa magbayad taon-taon para di mag-expire ang contract...

pero seriously, marriage is a commitment na dapat pinag-iisipang mabuti bago gawin. call me old-fashioned, pero naniniwala pa rin ako sa sabi ng matatanda tungkol sa pag-aasawa: hindi siya parang mainit na kanin na pag napaso ka e iluluwa mo. hindi rin siya sagot sa mga suliraning tulad ng maagang pagbubuntis o dahil gustong umahon sa hirap. ang marriage rooted in love yan. at ang true love walang expiration date.

[yuuki]

i do believe in the sanctity of marriage period

but we cannot deny the fact that people change and even love...so ultimately those persons (the husband and wife) should be given the chance to decide upon themselves whether they want to stick to it or not...and not be bound by the culture, practices, views (by outsiders), etc.

i respect those people who took the road less travelled (getting annulment or just separate if they really tried everthing) rather than keep with it and be miserable for the rest of their lives.

i dont agree with the expiration date but yes for annulment (with valid reasons such as emotional/ physical abuse, etc).

[nvtellan]

Ayan, naglagay na ako ng poll sa taas para pwede rin kayo bumoto whether agree or disagree kayo sa proposal na ito. Vote wisely!

[RAIJEM]

I don't want to condemn the group but then its really impractical than divorce and annulment. Why? What if you went through civil wedding rights because you dont have that much cash? So this means you have to go through the red tape of filing papers and pay fees simply because your term as a husband or as a wife or legal spouse for that matter is about to expire? This feminist groups often think they care about women across the country, when infact most of them don't. These girls are just another bunch of sorry losers who probably hate their husbands/partners so bad that they think everybody else is going through the same process.

Here's my two cents:

I have been through a lot just to get me and my wife married. Putting an expiry date on it makes it irrational and makes the entire effort worthless and look futile. That group, as a party list don't deserve a seat in congress. For all we know, they'd just be sitting in there and the most that they'd be busy with is spend their pork barrel on senseless legislation like the one they have in mind now rather than helping battered Filipinas.

[nvtellan]

@Thet: I know what happened and I know your rationale why this is a good idea for you.

@moonchild117: I too believe in that saying na "Ang kasal, nde parang kanin na pwede iluwa kapag napaso." Dapat talaga lahat ng papasok sa marriage must go through marriage counseling. But sometimes this too isn't effective specially if the couple to be in union aren't mature enough to face the reality of life. Kadalasan after the wedding na nila ma-realize na.. "ganito pala ito.. "

@yuuki: I agree with your point. I too disagree with this proposal. It may just be another reason for the government to get money from the people. No to expiration dates and renewal and yes to annulment (of course after careful and valid deliberations).
Yun nga magbayad ng sedula at iba pang mga taxes, pasakit na sa bulsa ng mamamayan, tapos here's another one.
Nde pa ata nasabi kung gaano katagal ang proposed expiration ng marriage contract and how much would be the fee to renew it. May fee din siguro kapag i-pa void na ang contract.

@RAI: yes, I know the issues in getting a decent wedding nowadays. Unless lang kung ok ka na sa kasalan bayan which is usually free because sponsored by some politicos... (still kahit paano maglalabas ka pa rin ng pera dun).  In our culture, its usually the groom / husband to be ang nag-shoulder ng mga expenses. Sa amin ng asawa ko, most of the expenses came from my side. Yung mga earnings ko, some donations from my parents and my Aunts abroad (big thanks to them!).

Some points to ponder if this proposal will push through:

1. What will happen to their children after cancellation of marriage?
2. Their property?
3. Is the cancellation permanent? What if they decided to get back together again?
4. How many times can a couple renew their marriage contract?
5. In the case that a couple have previously canceled a marriage contract, how many times can they re-apply for a marriage again? (yun ba tipong away-bati syndrome?)
6. Is the renewal on a yearly basis or open terms (depends on the couples request)?

Just my 2 cents too.

[moonchild117]

^ true, nvtellan. the idea of getting married can be exciting, pero pag andun ka na, it's not what you expected. i guess people need to lower their expectations when they get married. LOL!

nice points there. it does seem na hindi nasama ang mga anak sa pagbuo ng proposal na ito. sa kahit anong hiwalayan, matindi ang repercussions nito sa mga bata. well, they still have time to think of how to solve these loopholes...

[solidus37]

Pag nag expire ang kasal pwede ba irenew?

parang mas magastos pa yan.

[nvtellan]

At kapag nde na-renew, nag-expire na, ano yun automatic ba nde na kayo kasal at nde kayo pwede tawagin mr. and mrs. single ulit kayo hanggat nde pa na-renew?
hmmm.. temporary single status huh?

[solidus37]

Scenario kapag naisabatas na ang proposed bill na yan.

Mr: Bukas di na kita asawa. Expired na kasal natin
Mrs.: Oo,magpaparenew pa ba tayo ng kasal natin?
Mr.: Hindi na muna siguro kasi magastos yan. live in muna tayo
Mrs. : Eh paano yung apelyido ko balik na naman sa "Bagumgahasa". Gawan mo naman ng paraan
Mr.: Hindi ko kasalanan yan. Sabihin mo yan  sa nanay at tatay mo. hehehehehehe.
Mrs. : oo nga

Ano ba yan. Yan ba ang gusto ng mga nag propose ng bill na ito ang mangyayari. C'mon.

[Jasmine]

Scenario kapag naisabatas na ang proposed bill na yan.

Mr: Bukas di na kita asawa. Expired na kasal natin
Mrs.: Oo,magpaparenew pa ba tayo ng kasal natin?
Mr.: Hindi na muna siguro kasi magastos yan. live in muna tayo
Mrs. : Eh paano yung apelyido ko balik na naman sa "Bagumgahasa". Gawan mo naman ng paraan
Mr.: Hindi ko kasalanan yan. Sabihin mo yan  sa nanay at tatay mo. hehehehehehe.
Mrs. : oo nga

Ano ba yan. Yan ba ang gusto ng mga nag propose ng bill na ito ang mangyayari. C'mon.

[Jasmine]

LOL! I noticed wala ako kakampi ditto… Well for me, it's a case to case basis. Like for example, a battered wife should no longer continue being married to a man who used to love her and adore until the marriage turn sour and he starts beating her for even a slightest misunderstanding.

I know that marriage is sanctified (what God has bind, no man shall not separate?) nevertheless when someone rights have been violated grossly and the relationship is endangering  life, I think we can call it quits already.

Marriage should be based on love, trust, respect, affection..

[RAIJEM]

LOL! I noticed wala ako kakampi ditto… Well for me, it's a case to case basis. Like for example, a battered wife should no longer continue being married to a man who used to love her and adore until the marriage turn sour and he starts beating her for even a slightest misunderstanding.

I know that marriage is sanctified (what God has bind, no man shall not separate?) nevertheless when someone rights have been violated grossly and the relationship is endangering  life, I think we can call it quits already.

Marriage should be based on love, trust, respect, affection..

Point taken... magandang discussion ito. yun nga lang, parang yung mga nagsusulong ng batas one-sided ang view. I bet, with the pro's and con's taken into consideration, mahabang deliveration ito sa congress.

[Jasmine]

LOL! I noticed wala ako kakampi ditto… Well for me, it's a case to case basis. Like for example, a battered wife should no longer continue being married to a man who used to love her and adore until the marriage turn sour and he starts beating her for even a slightest misunderstanding.

I know that marriage is sanctified (what God has bind, no man shall not separate?) nevertheless when someone rights have been violated grossly and the relationship is endangering  life, I think we can call it quits already.

Marriage should be based on love, trust, respect, affection..

Point taken... magandang discussion ito. yun nga lang, parang yung mga nagsusulong ng batas one-sided ang view. I bet, with the pro's and con's taken into consideration, mahabang deliveration ito sa congress.

Thanks for considering my point Raijem...

[yuuki]

LOL! I noticed wala ako kakampi ditto… Well for me, it's a case to case basis. Like for example, a battered wife should no longer continue being married to a man who used to love her and adore until the marriage turn sour and he starts beating her for even a slightest misunderstanding.

I know that marriage is sanctified (what God has bind, no man shall not separate?) nevertheless when someone rights have been violated grossly and the relationship is endangering  life, I think we can call it quits already.

Marriage should be based on love, trust, respect, affection..

Point taken... magandang discussion ito. yun nga lang, parang yung mga nagsusulong ng batas one-sided ang view. I bet, with the pro's and con's taken into consideration, mahabang deliveration ito sa congress.

Thanks for considering my point Raijem...

i dont agree with the expiration date but yes for annulment (with valid reasons such as emotional/ physical abuse, etc).

oi un din point ko jas, but if that's the case file for annulment or legal separation....

[RAIJEM]

The proponents have a good intention kaso with the way laws move in congress.. baka di na sila party list reps, di pa umuusad ito. Kasi kahit yung mismong mga congressman eh tatamaan sa panukala nila. What do you think? Why would an unfaithful congressman vote for a legislation that will affect his status? Sa lower house pa lang yan or sa house of representatives.... pano pa kaya sa senate...? I wish them luck. All the best, Raijem.

[Jasmine]

LOL! I noticed wala ako kakampi ditto… Well for me, it's a case to case basis. Like for example, a battered wife should no longer continue being married to a man who used to love her and adore until the marriage turn sour and he starts beating her for even a slightest misunderstanding.

I know that marriage is sanctified (what God has bind, no man shall not separate?) nevertheless when someone rights have been violated grossly and the relationship is endangering  life, I think we can call it quits already.

Marriage should be based on love, trust, respect, affection..

Point taken... magandang discussion ito. yun nga lang, parang yung mga nagsusulong ng batas one-sided ang view. I bet, with the pro's and con's taken into consideration, mahabang deliveration ito sa congress.

Thanks for considering my point Raijem...

i dont agree with the expiration date but yes for annulment (with valid reasons such as emotional/ physical abuse, etc).

oi un din point ko jas, but if that's the case file for annulment or legal separation....

pano kung ayaw ng partner mo?

[yuuki]

^ i think kahit walang approval ng partner basta me legal grounds...di ba atty SD?

[Jasmine]

asan na nga ba si sd hehheheh